Soviet Russia!

You all know how this goes:

"In America, You ____________________.
In Soviet Russia, ____________________ YOU!"

It doesn't have to make sense. In fact, it's funnier if it doesn't. I'll start off:

In America, You sit in chair.
In Soviet Russia, CHAIR SITS IN YOU!

In America, KGB spy on you!
In Soviet Russia, KGB STILL spy on you!
KGB break laws of physics!

In America, you watch TV
In Soviet Russia, TV WATCHES YOU!

In America, you execute criminals!
In Soviet Russia, criminals execute you!

In America, Chuck Norris kills you
But in Soviet Russia, well, Chuck Norris still kills you...

I had too. I am ashamed of myself. Y_Y

In america, doodles is lame for saying chuck norris jokes.
In soviet russia, luckily, doodles isnt as lame for saying chuck norris jokes.

In America, we are fat.
In Soviet Russia, fat are us.

In America, You listen to Radio.
In Soviet Russia, RADIO LISTENS TO YOU!

In america you surf the web.
In soviet russia the web surfs you.

lame. i cant think of anything clever.

In America, you earn money.
In Soviet Russia, money earn you!

In America, you read books
In Soviet Russia, BOOKS READ YOU!

In Amercia, Sealab 2021 kicks ass.
In Soviet Russia, kicks ass Sealab 2021!

in america you and children eat burgers,
in soviet russia burgers eat children and YOU!!!!